On @Mr. Latif you are wasting your time you are a genius and should expand your message to a much wider and diverse forum.
Dear Dr.-----, Please let me clarify this: I am not wasting my time. The most essential things in life are tricky to articulate. Words never echo and mirror our neural connectivity; there is a time lapse, words reflect shrunk feelings. Still, I shall try.
I live as if I will 'breathe my last breath' tomorrow and 'read and learn as if there is no tomorrow to come.' Once I knew this well, I made my choices in life and discarded every peripheral expectation and exterminated every single speck of arrogance. With it, all associated anxieties of humiliation and disappointment just tumbled down. I realised very early on that it is search of permanence and mad craving for legacy that tears down people’s 'peace of mind.'
I was mediocre in my class and in my life, but I knew that I had the ability to discern things far better than many. The reason was that I just didn't understand until I broke things down; I had to compartmentalise my thoughts; I needed breaking my thoughts to be logical and explicable. Understating too much complexity was my innate problem that I faced, and cognizant of the 'thinness of my inbox’ I started simplifying things down. Understanding the history and origins of things helped me to comprehend the most complex ideas in my own simpler version. I constructed my own roadmap in my own mind of what little I understood. I didn't need to know too much if the little I knew was clear and crisp. Einstein's help was readily on hand: “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.”
I never therefore tried for my children to be 'first' in class; they never were. We made sure they never would be. We would open the 'whole world' to them. Our course of teaching was very renaissance-like. I understood well that 'knowledge' and 'degree' are poles apart. Knowledge led me to originality and exactness of my thoughts; degrees only make one a functionary.
Ever keeping in mind my ‘impending descent to primordial stardust’ is an imperative part of my self-awareness. It is not a gloomy, horrid thought; it is the only way to sustain liberty, humility and reticence. My ultimate fizzling out keeps reminding me that the hard fact is that there is no inheritance other than bestowing my intellect and wits on my own page. I have always put my thoughts on paper and this is my hobby. No honour is expected.
Within 7.15 billion of us, most like 'us' are born with overwhelming mediocrities; we need to comprehend that clearly and carry that cross with pride. The ambition of 'Legacy' is parallel to imitating the footprints of the icons of alpha intellect; they were/are unrivalled creative geniuses. One of us will break through, let’s watch in utter delight when that happens - the rise of our Sagan's, our Hawking's our Jobs's. Keep their good company and learn from them.
I knew that these dreams of legacy and building 'perpetual' reverie are recipe for a self-destructive streak. I knew my 'Achilles' heel' and that is what was the first step of self-awareness. If I kept my goals unpretentious, driven by humane consideration, i.e., 'good for all and good for you' with giving and helping as the central plank of my manifesto and knowledge-gathering as the ultimate objective, nothing better but forgoing equipped me for the challenges in the dusk of my vocation.
The true legacy for me, if any, would be to leave a footprint that should have elegant bearings of concerns of mankind, piety for suffering and extreme interest in altering the condition of those who were born in similar circumstance as you but could not break the shackles and chains of oppression.
These thoughts drive me; these thoughts also make me so ordinary and so productive. Some people erroneously think I have brains, I will know when I will be a genius, at the moment a big no. The urge is just not there, the legacy thing does not exist; it is all about learning, teaching and leaving.
I write because some thoughts look nice in a prose. I don't have to think too much, words just spew out of my cerebral crevices, thoughts are easily crystallized, my varied interests take shape of words, I concede, maybe with little use to anyone but me. I like my 'face' on FB to be reflective of me and my conscience; that is my only ambition. I want those who care about me to know me well the way I am, not the way they think.
Fortunately as a young child torridly being examined for my imperfections, I have few people I am grateful to, for kicking my a*se hard enough. I learned early on to have sensible expectations from my life, this was the key to organization of my life. This is the most important element to live a content, vigorous and worthwhile life. I worked within my limitations; little did I realise that being 'condemned' so much, my limitations led me to outside-the-box thinking, trusting people, enlarging horizons, working together, making a team of 'ordinary' like me to unravel the most complex situations.
I know myself well. I see no trace of a 'genius' in the mirror that I see every day. I know I am 'no one;' I am looking for nothing but waiting for my 'Eureka moment.' I want to know why 'I and my co-humans' are here with such a complicated brain neural connectivity, I am running from post to post searching for answers. Yes, I do make some morsels of bread too in the process. I discover incredibly stimulating answers to my quest and this is my self-induced soaring high, though a vantage bubbly plays a role too.
The day this 'flame dies down' the routine of life and ordinary chores of not thinking take over, that will be the dawn that will tell me 'come on your time is up' and unfortunately time is always short.